I’ve always liked that title. It explains quite a number of things. Unfortunately I have to quote it, seeing as a band has already coined that one of their singles. For those who don’t quite understand what I mean, I’ll provide a link here to the song. Now I understand that rock might not be everyone’s forte, so this isn’t where I preach how great of a song it is, it’s optional to actually listen to it.
Spare me the lectures about how smoking kills and actually affects health. I’m 23 and I probably know more than most 40 year olds from New Jersey. (Not much though, many people confuse the fact that I’m well spoken because I’m well read and well written as a sign of intellectual advancement. I disagree with this greatly.) My choice of poison, either Marlboro Reds or if I felt as if I needed some fiberglass in my diet, then some Parliament menthols. There’s good addiction, there’s bad addiction, and then there are addictions that made me tear your skin off if you go without it for one day. This just happens to fall into that last lovely category. People have asked me many times what there is in a cigarette that makes me so addicted to them. Personally I’ve never liked the taste, never liked how the stench stuck to my body and my clothes, and have always hated the fact that I have to hide them somewhere in this house when I return home because living under the same room as a first generation Chinese son who smokes would shame the family name forever. Most of the fun lies therein when I actually light the stoge. The flicking of the BIC lighter along with the sudden burst of methane (I think it’s methane?) and a spark from the built in flint that creates the flames of oblivion in my left hand as long as my thumb is still on the gas release button. The feeling of slowly raising my left hand to the cigarette that’s already in my mouth, and listening to it crackle as it lights the tip. Probably the crackling of minutes being drained from my life every time the flame flickers, and that’s the bittersweet beauty to it all. That first drag. The feelgood drag. The one where it stings on the way down, yet a few seconds in, your body feels like it’s sinking from the inside out. Smoking is incredibly bad. I would suggest against starting it, but I’m not a saint, and if you have the willpower to quit, then definitely quit. It’ll add minutes to your life and save you tons of money, especially if you live in NYC. My relationship with smoking is like something along the lines of a bad girlfriend. Always making that attempt to leave, but getting suckered back because I need the release so bad. Of course, I haven’t had a girlfriend in years, so I guess this is what passes by the time.
February 28th: I’ve had this post lying around since ages, and I could never get myself to finish it. It would have spanned quite a few pages, possibly into a novel length if I kept at it, because there were just so many things I want to say, and yet at the same time every time I would attempt to finish this post, my chest would remind me that perhaps I’m not as stone-like as I think I am, that [...]
Dreams are called dreams for a reason. They are something that is created within a rapid eye movement sleep cycle or deep thought that will most likely never come true, despite how much desire you may have for it. I do note the difference between dreams and ambition however. I, just a few days ago, wrote “The World” into the center of my palm and decided to take a picture of it with my blackberry figuring this [...]
“The modern State of Fear could never exist without universities feeding it. There is a peculiar neo-Stalinist mode of thought that is required to support all this, and it can thrive only in a restrictive setting, behind closed doors, without due process. In our society, only universities have created that –so far. The notion that these institutions are liberal is a joke. They are fascist to the core, I’m telling you. ”
I love this book!
The smell of death and decay fill my nostrils as I look out of my window, and the sun is soaked in a crimson red that almost feels as if it’s screaming out in sheer agony. Fires drench every part of the world that I can visually comprehend, and I wonder to myself “Is there even any life amidst all of this chaos?”
The remains of what used to be a fully functional society slowly fades away as the charred pieces [...]
It’s come to my attention, that I seem to fail at doing most things all the time. Given the time between this entry and my last, sometimes I wonder what’s the last thing I did right, and actually paid some form of attention to, for purposes of development or leisure. With that being said, it could just mean that I simply do not have anything preoccupying myself in the real world worth mentioning, and might not be very [...]
As I’m listening to the song that is rightfully titled as such by a band named Emarosa, I find that agreeing to the title is much harder than other things that I’ve had to do in this lifetime.
I push aside quite a few number of things that I don’t want to remember into a far off corner in my head thinking they will never resurface, or things that I just don’t want to deal with because they require too much [...]
I’ve come to a well-rounded conclusion that life is just one big bore, and cannot be remedied as easily as “meeting new people” as most people state in an ever so cliche manner.
For the people that know me, it’s pretty much a given, but for the ones that don’t, let me take this oppurtunity to tell everyone that aside from the internet blog, I keep a written journal along with me at all times( which I try to update daily ) with my observations on everything I come across.
Here is an except from one of my theories on the different types of writers, not based on any formal scientific research, but [...]